it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
