i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
