I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
