Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
