so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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