Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
