Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
