I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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