I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
