I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize