Pants 0. Shit 1.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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