We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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