I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
