then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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