When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Semen is not good for contacts.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
