I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
