are you still at the devil's house?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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