She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
