is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
