im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
