She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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