I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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