I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
