he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
