please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I deserve this hangover.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
