just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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