i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
