brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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