she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
