my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
