No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
