When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
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i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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