thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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