i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize