I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
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i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
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And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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