we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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