If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize