So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
