did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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