do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
