Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
