Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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