Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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