fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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