I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
