do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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