oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
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she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
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Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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