ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
