i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
