babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
