another moral hangover. fuck.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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