dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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