But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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