We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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