Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
