like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
