Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
