And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
