Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
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Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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