Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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