Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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