And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
