Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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