i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
