I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
