I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
