Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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