there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize